I are literate

I live in Orange County, California. I applied online for a volunteer position with a literacy program in Orange County. Except I accidentally applied for a literacy program in Orange County, Florida (even though that was written on the website). So apparently, I can't read.


Yesterday, the top story listed on the google news site was that George Bush's colonoscopy was going forward as planned. Well, thanks for the 411.

I'm usually a big fan of this high tech information-saturated age, but there's such a thing as TMI. I don't care how important a person is, I don't need to know what's going on with their colon. Ever. For any reason.

I realize that temporarily transferring power over to the VP is a newsworthy item, but maybe next time the media can substitute the words "annual colonoscopy" with "routine medical examination." Spare me the details.

Reason #547 of why I'm glad I'm not famous: nobody is googling my colon.

Chuck E. Cheese and the Order of the Phoenix

Today was Kylie's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese (a kid's place with arcade games, really bad pizza, and some poor guy who walks around in a giant mouse costume which actually looks more like a rat). They do this show where Chuck E. Cheese (the giant rat-mouse) dances around, and Kylie was cracking me up.

At first she just stood there watching him, opened-mouthed with this entranced stare. (Whenever she is watching something intently, she will go into this zombie-like state where her body goes somewhat limp and her face is completely slack. I see her do it a lot when she's watching videos.) Then when her mom got up and started dancing along, Kylie began to dance, too, and got really into it, kicking her legs out and flinging her head around. She reminded me of a very tiny 60's go-go dancer. We should really get her into some dance lessons because I think that kid is a natural.

Scott and I sat with my dad and ate pizza, played some space invaders and skeet ball, and then bailed before the kids got too raucous.

This evening after it cooled down a little, Scott and I took about a 40-minute walk and listened to the last and 23rd disc of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, sharing the ear pieces so that we each had one ear hooked up. I had read the book but wanted a refresher before we go to see the movie. I was also thrilled to find Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sitting on my doorstep when I walked outside this morning, so I've been reading that as well, although I want to take my time and not rush through it. (Please be advised that if you post any comments to this entry that give away the plot, I will hunt you down and kill you--I take my Harry Potter very seriously.)

I also made some chocolate chip cookies today using the tollhouse recipe but with double the chocolate chips.

harry potter fever

I got an email from amazon.com today that said: we are preparing to ship your order - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. At last, my precious (said in a very Gollum sort of way).


I wonder if the way a person with an average I.Q. perceives the mentally retarded is the same way a person with a genius I.Q. perceives the average.

crashing calicos

My cat doesn't know she's a cat. She stands on the ground and cries to get up on things that she could jump twice the height of. We are not going to tell her she's a cat because we don't want her to jump on things.

She has, however, figured out a very complicated way of getting on top of the bathroom cabinet - floor, to toliet, to a very delicate balancing act on a towel rod, to the the flat panel that holds the shower sliding glass doors, across the entire length of the shower doors, to the cabinet. Keep in mind, it would be an easy and much less complex route to simply jump on the bathroom counter and then the cabinet, but for some reason, she likes to take the long way.

Last night after my shower, I left her up there and turned off the lights thinking - she's a cat, she can easily get down. My husband, Scott, was already asleep in our bedroom, which the bathroom opens up to. We have a business behind our house, and there is always a little bit of light coming into our bedroom from there, so it's never pitch black in the bedroom or the bathroom.

About 5 minutes after I left the room, I hear this crashing sound - BLAM BLAM BLAM - but it just keeps going on and on. I run into the bathroom to discover that she decided to take the shower rail route to get down from the cabinet, and in the process, her hind legs slipped off. She was hanging on to this slick, metal rail with her front paws and flailing with her hind quarters against the shower doors - hence the crashing sound.

This was all told to me by Scott, who was standing in the bathroom, bleary-eyed and in his underwear, holding the cat.

lunch and dinner

So today was nice. Dad and I went to the Corner Bakery. He stocked up on lunch food, and I divided everything into labeled tupperware for him when we got home.

While I was doing that, an old friend of dad's called. I remembered him from the 70s. He's now in his 70s and going out with a woman who looks to be in her 30s, although it's possible she's in her 40s and is just one of those people who ages very well (dad had a picture of her on a tape she had made). Dad said he was surprised they were still together because his friend never did keep women for very long, but he also said when you're old and you find a good woman, you'd better hold on to her.

Scott went to the desert to see his dad and got back this afternoon. Then Scott and I, Joanna, Ashlee, Ashlee's Scott, and Angus went to dinner at Lucille's. I guess Angus had never had BBQ before, so Ashlee and Scott wanted him to experience it. It was a nice time even though I literally can only hear about 50% of the conversation at Lucille's because it's so loud in there.

Angus turned out to be a calm sort of person and not at all a madman like I had previously been led to believe. He grew up on an island with a population of less than 150 people where they speak gaelic. This was his first time out of Scotland, and he traveled the day those two wannabe terrorists tried to blow up part of Glasgow airport. When he landed, airport security led him off to a little room and questioned him for over an hour. Welcome to America.

Ashlee and Scott have been taking him all around - Havasu, Disneyland, the Orange County Fair, an Angel's game - so hopefully he will have fond memories of this place when he leaves despite the airport incident.

I fancy myself a creative sort of person, so why is "lunch and dinner" the best subject line I could think of for this post?

true confessions

I haven't been posting here much lately, and I have a confession to make as to why. I've been cheating on your with other blogs. Please - don't say anything. It's not you, it's me. I just needed...more.

I've experimented with some other blogs, including a tv blog and a very fun shopping blog, but in the end, I've decided to delete those and start yet another new blog. I don't want to call it a literary blog because that sounds too hoity-toity for what it really is, so I will simply call it a Reader's blog. It's a blog for people who are looking for interesting things to read online but don't want to sift through a bunch of internet drivel to find it (I do that for you). It's called A Bunch of Wordz.

On a personal note, tomorrow I am having lunch with my dad and then dinner with a Scottish man who has a very Scottish name (Angus...I think). And no, I am not cheating on my husband, too (just you, dear blog readers) because 1) I don't cheat and 2) if i did, I would not announce it on the internet as that would be a very silly thing to do. Angus is my daughter's friend, and we are all going out to dinner together, so that should be fun because 1) I do love Scottish people and 2) I hear Angus is a bit mad (but in a good way).

guess who i slept with last night

So last night I slept with Charles. He's extremely cute, but somewhat smelly. Drools a lot, too, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Last night, Ashlee and Scott came over, and we ate at Lucille's, then came back home and watched the last episode of The O.C. (sob!) and played some Apples to Apples. As they were leaving, there was a dog with a jacket on wandering down the street.

I took it door to door but nobody had seen him before, and his tags were for a vet in West Hollywood with no owner info. Of course, the vet was closed until Monday. A neighbor who had dogs was nice enough to give me some dog food.

Charles seemed old and scared and was very sweet, so he and I slept in Ashlee's room while Chloe and Scott slept in the other bedroom. Every time I went a few feet, he was right there following my every move. I tried to limit his access to the house, though, as I was afraid of Chloe spraying.

The next day, a woman put out flyers - turned out she was visiting her brother who lives on my block, which was why nobody knew the dog. Her and her brother were both out last night and didn't know he had gotten out. He's a rescue dog she was fostering and thinking about adopting, so that's why he didn't have any owner info on his tag.

I guess her 3-year-old was devasted that he was missing and the woman seemed like she had really fallen in love with the dog, too, so I'm pretty sure she'll end up adopting, which is nice for Charles. She kept thanking me for taking care of him over and over again - really sweet lady. Then her brother came by and thanked me again.

I had actually just dropped Charles off for a bath when the neighbor boys (whose family had given me the dog food) came over with the flyer. Ironically, Charle's was scheduled to be groomed and implanted with a microchip today, and the appointment had to be canceled. The foster mom ended up picking him up, and I didn't have to pay for the bath (although it would have been worth the money if I had to sleep with him another night).

I had to wash all my blankets and pajamas. I'm used to cats now and forgot how gross dogs can be. Charles is back with his foster family, and I'm going to sleep in my own bed with my little, mean, but very clean kitty. Still, I kinda miss Charles, stinky drooler that he was.

jury duty

on my handheld. at jury duty. not happy.

time consuming to type w/a little stick and i keep accidentally erasing everything.

i try to dress white trash in hopes of discouraging lawywers from picking me. wore my black tee w/a band name. but then the only good sized tote i have has kittens on it and my sweatshirt is disney so that kind of ruins the look i am going for.



have not been called to a courtroom yet. so far so good.

an employee here said on one of the announcements "i know you are all anxious to be assigned a courtroom." um...no.

they have a "quiet room" here w/couches. i have been napping. sweet.


So I did not get picked or even called into a courtroom. That whole process stresses me out and makes me nervous. First there's the fact that I have to call in for 5 days and never know if I'm going in or not. Then it's in a section of town that can only be described as an armpit. Not to mention that being forced to do something under threat of incarceration doesn't seem very "land of the free" to me.