edie's journal (ediesjournal) wrote,
edie's journal
ediesjournal

my new terrorist organization

Was watching a segment on the A.L.F. (Animal Liberation Front) and E.L.F. (Earth Liberation Front) on 60 Minutes. These are the people that burn SUV dealerships because the SUVs put too much pollution into the air. What a bunch of Einsteins, I tell you. Protecting the environment by burning stuff. (Huh?) Do you know how many toxins they released into the atmosphere by burning all those plastics and fuels? Way more than those SUVs ever would have. And how many people changed their minds about driving or buying SUVs because of that? Exactly zero. And what is a large family supposed to do? Cram all their kids into a Volkswagon Bug?

Another brilliant move is to break into facilities that do animal testing and destroy years worth of data. They had a video on 60 Minutes that the A.L.F. had taped of themselves doing just that. The only thing that is going to accomplish is to cause a larger number of animals to be experimented on when the scientists are forced to start all over again to obtain their data – the data that the government requires them to have, whether or not the scientists who work in that facility think it’s necessary or not.

Cheese and rice!

These two organizations combined are considered the number one domestic terrorist threat to the United States by the FBI. They even had some crazy physician on the show who advocates assassinating people. (I hope I never get sick when he’s on duty.) He made it clear that it wasn’t his role to kill people, just to encourage others to. (What a nice man.) He even went so far as to make assassination suggestions, such as the head of a company that kills chickens. The interviewer asked him - well what if some people like eating chicken? He replied that those people are “speciesists.” That is the first time I’ve ever heard that word used outside of a science fiction movie.

I wonder if this guy has ever killed an ant or spider in his home, and does that make him a “speciesist,” too? If he has, I think someone should blow up his house. Because that makes perfect sense, right? I wouldn't blow up his house (that's not my role), but I encourage others to. (Sidenote: If you're reading this and you're crazy, please note that I am joking. Do not blow anything up. Step away from the explosives.)

These people aren’t environmentally concerned so much as they are nuts, and their ineffective tactics aren’t a way to save the world, just a way to express and excuse their own mental instability. If they really wanted to make a difference, they’d get a lobby going in D.C. and work within the legislature to change the laws. If you have the time to plan an intricate and methodical bombing and you’re devious enough to go through with it, then you’ve got the requisite amount of time and deviousness to participate in the world of politics.

I was talking to my friend at work, and I told her the only fantical organization I would consider being a part of would be one that was against fanatics. I suggested we form our own group – Fanatics Against Fanatics. We could blow stuff up that belongs to people who blow stuff up. She was totally in, but she wanted the acronym to spell something. She wanted it to spell something specific, actually. So I changed the name to Fanatics Against Retarded Terrorists.

We are currently recruiting. If you would like to join F.A.R.T., please signify your commitment by commenting on this post. Domestic terrorists beware – F.A.R.T. will build up and build up and explode onto the world!
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